volunteering, strangers. (Sunday, November 8, 2015)
Term 1 has gone by in a haste as usual.
But second year is vastly different from the first! A new room, new neighbourhood, new responsibilities, new way of seeing this world.
Term 1 this year was a continuous series of internal struggles - and it is all triggered by external factors and events that really provoked some feelings inside me, which are quite tormenting and it draws me away from light. Somehow, I don't remember last year as being quite as complicated. I generally remember my first year in London as carefree, relaxed, and wonderfully reviving. It was a place where I am isolated from family, friends and things who just formed my identity (as Fr Stephen has mentioned). Shaky as it was, without a foundation of my identity present with me, it gave me an unprecedented space to rethink my identity and to grow into the person God wants me to be!
Speaking of identity, perhaps the 2 major crisis I faced in this term has really pushed me to purify this broken heart and be the better person God wants me to be.
Putting these 2 crisis aside, I would just like to talk a bit more about volunteering and how I have realised, thank God, that it has been continuously shaping and changing me as a person.
The major difference for me this term was the fact that I had become a committee member of UCL CathSoc, and have taken on the role of the Volunteering & Interfaith Officer. I never knew it was going to have such a huge impact on me!
I guess my early enthusiasm drove me to encounter many new people, and to dare to approach several new partners to form collaborations, and essentially to bring God's work to more people to partake in. It was very enriching.
But the greatest takeaway was how I was driven, by my responsibility and obligation as a CathSoc officer, to talk to people from diverse backgrounds. In fact, I will just usually shy away from situations like this thinking in my mind that there is still invisible barrier that just exists between Asians and Westerners.
And it has been a really enriching experience... The way that Europeans think, and how much they put human values, encounters, faith, beliefs, traditions over pragmatic, realistic things of these world that we tend to overburden ourselves with.
I met a few interesting people at Open House @ St Patrick's, since I was there on a few occasions to accompany some new volunteers who wanted to try out this program.
There I met a Russian Orthodox, who talked about how he came to the Catholic Church, and how he still considers himself to be part of both the Catholic and the Orthodox Churches. He also spoke in conviction against the alleged trend of the Vatican moving towards endorsing certain undesirable stances on the family by analysing the extraordinary synod and things like that. He also explained to me core differences between Catholicism and the Orthodox church, of which a distinct one has surfaced in our Creed. And to insist on the difference between both faiths is equivalent to saying that a piece of paper is a rectangle vs it's a straight line (depends on which angle you view the paper). One object, one truth, but different perspectives.
I also made a new French friend, had cool reddish hair, passionate about serving the needy, and would occasionally stop to say hi to the homeless people on the streets which she always passes by. She told me this when we were on a sandwich run by St Patrick's - the very first time where I actually squatted down to ask homeless squatters on how they are, if they're hungry and whether they want something to eat. Of course, only had the courage to do so upon going out on this mission as a group. It really opened my heart and broke down this invisible barrier of reluctance I have to put myself in a position of vulnerability as them.
Now, just hopping off volunteering, I realised I've also made a cool friend who's a worker of our landlord, working in the local convenience store just across our place. As our house had a rocky start (dirty and unrepaired faults in the house), we often required the assistance of the landlord's relatives/workers and so they will patiently come over and attend to each of our needs. It's pretty amazing, at how simple-minded and genuinely tolerant they can be. Helping us to fix things like radiators, which they do not even use.
And then there came Freshers fair and volunteering coordinating sessions, where I had to speak to the staff involved in the 2 projects, and also to a fairly large number of interested volunteers (PTL!). I made it a point to get to know everyone personally, and I'm always concerned to not let anyone feel left out or unwanted, or that their contributions will have no meaningful impact on another's life. Volunteers came one by one, by word of mouth, and of course I was quite swarmed with work and coordination. But indeed, to see this sheep coming to the herd gradually can be a really fulfilling task, of which I can lift to God's glory. Sometimes, truly, I just bury my head into working, planning, emailing people but I don't see the true meaning and significance of it.
Lastly, my most recent experience was with the Sant'Egidio Community at some church near Notting Hill Gate. 2 ladies dropped by my volunteering meeting, inviting me to come for the Cup of Tea dinner on 31st Oct. The foremost thought that came was of course that this was too much for me. But it was nonetheless another avenue to serve the homeless (since Open House had quite a lot of help already) and by God's will, I managed to go for it despite a week full of commitments subsequently, and I'm so thankful that I did.
The first person that stood out to me during this Cup of Tea session was a blonde-haired Scottish who was chirpy, bright-eyed and brimming with life. Nonetheless, she was wearing a Indian sari which seemed a little indie and hipster, but we hit it off rather well because both of us were assigned to the kitchen to make some pumpkin soup! And then, truly indeed we should not judge a book by its cover. She started to reveal her incredible experiences travelling in India (then recording a documentary), in other parts of Asia, and then her views on this world, political, economics @ UCL, her family, Christmas etc. Most of the time she did the talking while I just let myself be fascinated at her colourful experiences. Another surprising element of that night was that I realised that a substantial number of volunteers were not Christians or Catholics but nonetheless they were still drawn to this special place to feed the underprivileged. Amazing.
Afterwards, we headed to the tube station together, where she told me more about her hobbies and personal convictions, and while I was asked about mine, I found myself speechless. I like doing many things, but I cannot list out that one thing I love doing that just characterises my soul. All I could manage was that I am very much influenced by my faith, the way I think and what I choose to do. But if I could choose an activity where my soul can feel at its greatest ease and given fullest expression - I don't know what that would be.
While her answers did not exactly give that one activity, I could clearly see her personal convictions though - that she has this deep motivation to change the world around her, to limit the power of corporations and to alleviate the poverty-related issues scattered across the world. She is an avid supporter of the Green Party, and I can just go on and on.
Well, another interesting conversation I had was with this young/20/30ish man who was seated at the table I was serving. Initially struck by the fact that he was probably the youngest and most able-bodied guest around, we did not get to speak much as I was rather concentrated and conscious of my role to serve, instead of sitting down to have conversations and a proper meal. A conversation nonetheless began, and we trekked across topics ranging from how I got to England
by God's grace, how the quintessential English man used to be, how education is like here in England, and what he's doing by occupation. I also had a rather hearty conversation with an old Irish man seated at my table, fervent in his faith, and gesturing at my miraculous medal squealing "you lied to me! I thought you weren't catholic" because earlier on, he was sharing with me about Mother Mary but I tried hard to listen and could not respond much because I could not understand him very well. Then the young man also got curious and tried to look at the medal as well. It was such a frenzy!
Nonetheless, I'm extremely grateful for all these experiences, and I'm afraid that all I've gone through this term might somehow escape my memory. But I'm sure that these people have left quite deep imprints in my way of thinking and my understanding of Europe and its people in general. I think of them every now and then, and I strive here and now to be as open, strong-minded and life-giving as they are to me in every moment.
All thanks be to you, Jesus.